


look me in the heart and un break broken

by noaoats



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Balcony Scene, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Marichat, Unrequited Love, but instead it's on notre-dame, confessions don't go well, marinette and chat bond over broken hearts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-08
Updated: 2019-09-08
Packaged: 2020-10-12 22:09:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20571716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noaoats/pseuds/noaoats
Summary: “Why are you out on your balcony so late at night?  Marinette, it’s freezing.  Are you okay?”“No.  I’m not.”“... Come with me.  It won’t fix anything, but let me at least give you a better view.”





	look me in the heart and un break broken

The night atmosphere above the city was usually exhilarating. She would prowl across the rooftops while the stars and dusk created a thrill rivaling the rush of a rollercoaster. Sneaking out always caused a bit of guilt, but there was something about owning the dark- the nighttime sounds of a sleepy city drifting upward, the moon hanging low from above- that always pumped her full of adrenaline as she slipped about in the shadows. She imagined Chat Noir enjoyed it even more. Their complimenting Miraculous stones had her thriving in the day while Chat ruled the night, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t relish in the quiet as well.

Now, however, Marinette sat curled upon the top of Notre-Dame, her energy sapped. Her chin rested on her knees as she wrapped her arms around herself. The baggy sweats she wore protected her against the chill better than her spandex did, though her hair still fluttered behind her in the breeze. Lights twinkled and pulsed below her like bioluminescent particles in a vast sea, but the awe that usually accompanied the sight was missing. Her dull gaze simply passed over them and focused on nothing.

Chat Noir was sitting beside her, one elbow resting on a knee while the other leg dangled over the edge. He had been silent while carrying her from her balcony, and while the break had been nice at first, she could tell he was getting anxious. His fingers were tracing rapid patterns across this thigh, the claws on his other hand tapping to some unheard rhythm. One of his cat ears was trained solidly on her but the other twitched in the wind. The desire to comfort her was almost tangible, but it was obvious he wasn’t sure how to go about it.

“It’s funny,” she started, looking down as she started to pick at her sneakers. It was easier to talk when she couldn’t see him worrying. “I spent three years trying to build up the courage to confess to him. I had so many chances to tell him, but I was too scared. And in the end it didn’t even matter.”

His fingers stopped twirling in her peripheral vision. They hesitated above his leg for a moment before he spoke. “What happened?”

“I prepared myself to finally confess, and he… he said that he was in love. With someone else.” Her aglet was bent and cracked, and her fingernail dug under it to peel it fully away from the lace. Her mother would likely scold her for further ruining her old shoes but she didn’t care. The nervous habit was comforting.

Chat leaned to the right, his shoulder brushing hers in what she assumed was supposed to be a comforting touch of support. She appreciated the gesture but her eyes remained fixated down at her quickly deteriorating shoes. “It’s okay to cry, you know.”

Her lip trembled and she bit it to keep it still. “I’m not going to cry.”

“Okay.”

They returned to an uneasy silence. She had fully stripped away the plastic from her lace, and now she started pulling apart the threading. The weaving of the lace was small and uniform, obviously not hand-done, but the machine processing made it simple to pull apart the whole structure. Soon a tiny river of loose threads pooled around her ankles as she made quick work of them.

She had thought that today would be the best day of her life. Alya and Tikki had trained her- separately, of course- on her confession, letting her practice over and over until she was confident she wouldn’t stumble. Marinette had grown closer to Adrien over the past few years, and while she was mostly over her stuttering, somehow her confessions always went awry. It was finally going to happen, though. She was ready to tell him.

Marinette had gotten to school early for once. It had been unusual to see the courtyard so empty, but she knew that Adrien often arrived early and she had hoped to talk with him before the rest of their friends rolled in. The two had found a private bench to use and she had taken a deep breath. This was it. But when she went to confess, Adrien had interrupted to ask for advice. Advice about a different girl. One who, he claimed, he loved.

She hadn’t bothered to confess after that. She hadn’t even asked Adrien what the girl’s name was. It had taken everything in her to smile politely and answer any questions he had. And then he had admitted that he had been in love for three years. The whole time she had known him. The memory made her eyes start stinging despite her attempts to remain calm. She only hoped that Chat’s night vision didn’t pick up her struggle.

He resumed trailing his fingers in an absent pattern, so she assumed he either hadn’t noticed or was purposely pretending he hadn’t for her sake. She found she didn’t really care either way.

“The girl I love doesn’t love me back.”

She stopped at the sudden break of silence and hastily tried to blink back her growing tears. It was hard while looking down, but she refused to turn his way. It took her a moment to actually process what he had said. “You’re in love?”

He shrugged, his shoulder rubbing against hers. “Yeah. I’ve tried to tell her so many times, but I don’t think she realizes how serious I am. Either way, she’s confessed that she loves someone else. I think she thinks I’m just some playboy.”

“I’m sure that isn’t true.”

“I don’t know. I flirt with her a lot but she always treats it like a joke. And when I try to be sincere, she just… doesn’t get it. She isn’t trying to be dismissive, but it’s hard to know that she won’t ever see me the way she sees that other guy.”

Marinette struggled to think of a response. She didn’t know much about Chat’s civilian life but she was certain that he would have told her about being in love. Then again, she didn’t typically like to talk about her love life with Chat. It sounded like it was something deeply upsetting him, so she could understand why he would want to keep it private. Still, she wanted to be able to support him. “I’m sorry, Chat Noir. Is it… is it something you could talk to Ladybug about?”

Chat flinched for some reason. “No. Not really.”

Knowing that her partner couldn’t trust her with that information should have hurt, but she was guilty of withholding the same kind of pain. She couldn’t tell him, though. Chat Noir was a goofball, but he reminded her too much of Adrien. They had the same gritty blond hair, charming smiles, and kind personalities. The similarities made her feelings for Chat too confusing, and she didn’t want to upset herself further by adding Adrien into the mix. It was something she’d have to deal with on her own.

“What is she like?” She knew it was unfair for her to ask after he explained that he didn’t want Ladybug to know, but he looked too hurt for her not to try comforting him. 

His dangling leg rose for him to sit cross-legged. He leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees and cup his chin in his hands. “She’s perfect. She doesn’t think she is, but she is. She’s just… she’s beautiful and strong, and the most compassionate person I’ve ever met. She doesn’t let anyone tell her what to do. I find her so inspiring. And she cares for me, deeply. I don’t worry about that. It’s just not the same kind of love I have for her.” He paused to swallow. “Um, what about you? What’s your guy like?”

“Oh. I could go on for days. He’s been through so much but tries his best to be as kind as possible. He’s funny, and handsome, and radiant. He’s ridiculously talented but is so humble. He doesn’t realize how much people care for him because he has a lot of tough relationships in his life, but he is so loved. I just wish he knew it. I wish he knew how much he means to so many people. I… I wish he knew what he means to me.”

Chat shifted and she spared a glance his way. She had assumed he was looking out at the city lights so she gasped when his concerned eyes were staring straight at her. They widened as she gazed back. “Marinette, are you crying?”

Her head shook, but when she brushed a hand under her eyes she was surprised to feel it come away wet. A shaky laugh bubbled out of her. “Oh. I guess so. I’m sorry, I know it’s stupid, I just-”

Strong arms wrapped around her and pulled her close. She waited a moment before sliding her knees down to return the embrace, burying her face in the crook of his neck. The leather was smooth against her cheek, and his body was warm and solid even in the cold. The wave of security that rushed over her broke down the last of her reserves and she began to cry.

Chat pulled her half into his lap, his hands rubbing circles on her back as she pressed further into him. Marinette knew it was dumb to cry over a boy, but she had spent so long daydreaming and longing over him. And then he said he loved someone else. If she had gotten over herself years ago she could have moved on, but instead she had continued to pine for a guy she didn’t have a chance with in the first place. It just wasn’t fair.

“I’m sorry. I know that it’s good to get closure, but-”

Chat shushed her. “I know, I know. It’s okay.”

Her shoulders shuddered as she shook her head. “No, it’s not okay.” Her voice cracked. “I’m too old to be breaking down over a boy like this. And the worst part is, I don’t know how I’m supposed to get over him. It hurts so much to love someone who won’t ever love you back, you know?”

His body stiffened, and then he squeezed tighter. “Yeah. Yeah, I know, Marinette.”

The two stayed embraced for a few minutes longer, Marinette’s crying slowing down to quiet hiccups. Eventually she calmed down enough to hear Chat whispering soothing words, his lips pressed in a kiss on the top of her head. She sniffled and raised her hands to try and clean off her face as best she could. His hands stayed resting on her shoulders, but his grip was light. He still looked concerned so she gave him a small smile.

“Thanks,” Marinette murmured, her voice hoarse. Her eyes still stung and she could feel that they were puffy, but she didn’t care. She felt better after the emotional release. “I’m sorry that you’re going through a similar situation. It sucks. But it’s nice to know that I’m not alone.”

Chat returned the smile and his hands squeezed her shoulders. “Of course.” He leaned back some, and she took the space he gave her to compose herself. Blinking rapidly, she cleared her eyes of any lingering tears, and another swipe with her sleeve made sure her face wasn’t wet. She was grateful for his patience, but soon she realized that Chat was avidly inspecting his suit, a deep frown tugging his lips downward. Had she done something to it? Guilt began to rise in a hot wave of nausea until he interrupted her thoughts.

“I should change my name to Chat Vert, you got snot all over me. I thought princesses weren’t supposed to be gross.”

Her face flushed and she laughed loudly, quickly clapping a hand over her mouth to muffle the noise. They didn’t want to draw attention from the few people milling the streets below. His frown disappeared as he chuckled with her. They leaned over to see a few people peering upward, trying to find the sound of the noise. The two shuffled closer together and away from the edge. They both knew the joke wasn’t funny, but they laughed anyway, the shaky atmosphere relieving as they giggled.

Marinette quieted, her body feeling lighter as she shifted sideways to rest her head on his shoulder. He lowered his head to rest on hers, the two once more looking out over the city. She had sat next to Chat and admired the Parisian view countless times as Ladybug, but never like this. It was nice to enjoy his friendship without the pressure of being a hero.

“Thank you, Chat Noir. For bringing me here and letting me talk.”

“Of course, princess. We can be broken heart buddies. Lovestruck losers, if you will. A pair of pining pals.”

She snorted and elbowed him. “Sounds great, just watch the puns.”

“Will you be okay, though?”

His voice was earnest. Even while dealing with his own broken heart, he was so determined to help her. She really had the best partner in the world. Learning that Adrien loved someone else broke her heart, but she knew she’d be fine. She wasn’t alone. She had Tikki and Alya, and the rest of her group of girls. And she had Chat Noir supporting her, on both sides of the mask. He would never let her fall.

“Yeah, Chat,” she whispered. “I will be.”

**Author's Note:**

> fic title from "Where Does the Good Go" by Tegan & Sara
> 
> find me on [tumblr](https://noaoats.tumblr.com/) <3


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